Good can remain Good

It is difficult for good people to remain good in this world. The world is evil these days. May be it was always like this but I have realized it now. People don’t trust people. Loved ones are hesitant to accept that their loved ones are still good people. Sounds crazy. But true. It is faith that keeps two persons together. It is a simple relationship. The more is the faith between two persons the lesser is the chance of misunderstanding. Faith fills the gap where misunderstanding can creep in. Even if misunderstanding happens it is important to fill that gap again with faith. And this requires immediate action. Talking. Communication.

Communication brings forth the hidden reasons of misunderstanding. On the other hand being passive may led to a situation where things become difficult to mend. People don’t trust each other. Two persons - both good. But when they see other people around, they don’t see the same goodness in them. Then a thought comes in mind – “Everyone around is bad…What are the chances that he/she has also become one of them”. And this is the time when the other person has to communicate – “Although the odds of me being bad seem very high, I am still what I was and you can still keep the same month of faith in me”.

This closes the slit through which misunderstanding could have crept in. But most of the time people think that since they are good they don’t owe anyone any explanation. They don’t need to prove anything. But they need to – to avoid any chances of ill feeling – to prevent from their loved ones going away from them.

But other thing to ponder upon is that why loved ones are so insecure about you? And the answer is - because they love you. They don’t want you to be in trouble. They want you to know the correct way the life needs to be lived. That’s why they worry. And I feel there is nothing wrong in it.

Dimensions of Goodness

Who is a good person? How can we define goodness? People say you find all answers in religion. But this is a question for which even religion has no precise answer. Different religions have different yardsticks to measure goodness. While one religion asks not to kill even the weakest being other might not mind asking to kill others for the safety of the religion.

But this is not a post about religion. I am talking about goodness. Let’s start from the start. I was a small kid. My parents told me to be good. They taught me basics of goodness. They wanted me to be good to everyone else. The idea was good, simple to follow and seemed to be the only way to live life. To project myself as a good boy I had to respect my elders, obey my parents, be good to other guys, sleep in time, eat on time, go to school regularly etc. It doesn’t sound tough right. Believe me it was not.

Then I grew up a little. It was somewhere around high school. My parents asked me to study well. Even teachers had the same point of view. Other guys were segregated into good and bad based on the percentages they scored in exams. Nothing else mattered. A Measure of goodness for example – sleeping on time changed to sleeping late and studying. Parents didn’t have any problem with me studying late nights now, although they were a bit worried. Teachers wanted each of their students to study late nights. Students who had such odd timings were new heroes to the class. In front of academic performance other measures of goodness like sports, good behavior, obeying parents, respecting elders etc didn’t matter. There was a time when a single percentage used to change the whole image of a student. A single percent was capable of converting a first class to a second class. And being second class was as good as a failure. Even genuine reasons like bad health were not acceptable reasons. I have even seen parents wishing for bad health of competing students. Terrible. Anyways, in that phase academics was the only measure of goodness.

Then I moved to college from school. Again the dimensions of goodness changed. Academics lost its shine a bit. Sports and extra curricular activities were the new things. Girls around no longer cared for geeks. They were crazy after hunks on bikes and in cars. Bunking lectures was the in thing. College festivals and not exams were the occasions to show how good you are in anything but academics. The more a person was courageous to argue with professors, the more heroic he was. Respect to elders – what are you talking about? Listening to parents – so old fashioned. New things were in line to be indulged into – cigarettes, boozing, discs, and even drugs. All those things which in any civilized society would be considered as a strict No-No were “Cool”. Girls were crazy after such guys. It didn’t matter whether a person has a good heart or good thoughts or good values. Things mattered were good looks, good money to spend and a reputation of being a brat. So goodness changed again.

Now I work to earn my living. I have spent 25 years in this world and the word “Goodness” is still as unknown to be as it was. At different stages of my life I have seen different meanings of the word. In a workplace people are considered good if they are able to earn profit for the company. Nothing else matters. The colleagues are not concerned if the same “Good” person goes home drunk everyday and beats his wife and children. The boss is never concerned if the person throws out his old parents out of home. He is good because he is profit maker. A CEO is good even if he has no respect for any woman in the world and a sweeper is bad even if he steals just Rs. 10 for a his ill child. A disparity. Various dimensions of goodness. No place for emotions. Emotions are for emotional fools. People are ready to be animals without emotions than to be good emotional human beings. Love, affection, care, humanity, sincerity, helpfulness are words not in line but opposite to goodness. I was not told this story of goodness and so I cannot accept this face of it that the world is trying to show me. For me goodness still means being true, being able to love others without expecting anything in return. It still means healthy competition and no back stabbing. It means basic goodness that is taught to a child. It can’t be different than that pure goodness.